Shelly-Thing #75

My heart goes thump… 

It was fulfilled temporarily then it came to a screeching halt.    

I grabbed the mirror because I was sure it was me.   

How could this be?   

Am I doomed for eternity? 

A knock to the heart, a punch to the gut and she tried to rip out my one last chance at luck.   

Luck to find someone very true, the one I thought I could pursue.   

I don’t know what to do…   

 My thoughts are doing jumping jacks, my heart is sustaining a crack...   

I just want my sense of stability back.  

 Back before I was scorned, torn and born.   

Back to innocence, back to reality, I can’t believe this is still happening to me. 

 I thought he liked me…  

 This makes me want to crawl into a ball, not stand tall and maybe possibly become the wall

 only built so strong it won’t fall.   

I try hard to be steel and not let them peel, each layer away but it’s just unreal… 

 I am just a girl… 

with my heart on my sleeve

Why can’t I just find one that will let it be. 

Shelly Thing #74

It's been a while since I have blogged and my fingers for the past couple days have be yearning to type.  

The day of my last posting was a bit of a traumatic day.  As I spread my feelings and Love for the one main man that I miss the most, My dear Aunt Noreen passed away the same day.  Standing across from the room that my father had passed away in 11 years to the day. It's sad to think that I mentioned her in that post and then all the sudden, it was like February 23rd, 2001 all over again.  My aunt Noreen was such a staple in my life and I will miss her dearly.  Spending endless days and nights at her house.  She was my getaway house to take a bath in, since we only had a shower for years. The memories are filling my head like crazy and I love and cherish every single one of them.  I was asked if there was anything that I would want from her, of course I chose her bundt pans.  We had such a connection when it came to food :)  She made the worlds best chocolate cake with those bundt pans and of course and she used to put the right amount of chocolate icing & MnM's thrown across the top.....I am going to miss that cake... She knew how to make a mean cold cut sandwich & Potato Salad as well LOL, I can talk about her food forever ;)  I always knew it was special having a big family when I was a kid, but the fact that death is inevitable never crossed my mind. Until it starts... It's just something in life that we all must endure and it sucks, but there is no changing or stopping it for that matter.  Like I have said in the past, there is nothing you can do but Celebrate the good times, life is short.  So make it worth it! (I should tattoo this lol)  I Love each and every Family member I have and I always will...

Now a little more of what else is going on!

It's Summer time, we breezed through the winter and spring... Photos are great and Cherine and My Cakes have been going wonderful!  Softball is great, our team dynamic is Outstanding :) I am loving every single aspect of my life and nobody is going to stop me from doing what I want ;)  There is nothing else I could ask for! Until the next posting, see ya'll on the flip side! 

Shelly Thing #73

Today, Today... what a day.  11 Years ago today I experienced one of the most traumatic things to ever happen to a young girl... Well one of the most traumatic things to happen to My Family and I.  I can remember that day like it was yesterday.  So many things going on around us.  I remember waking up at my Aunt Noreen's house... The hospital called my mom early that morning. 

Little did we know the night prior was the last time I would ever get to speak to my Dad...  

Sitting in the room, Listening to the mumbles of Silent Prayers from friends and family.  

With all 4 of us holding him, My father Passed away...

My Rock, My Daddy... the figure that I thought would be there for every move in my Future, Was gone.

My Heart Shattered to a million pieces.

It wasn't easy, I still isn't.  I does get better, I promise.  All the times I wish I could have my dad with us. He was taken way too early and I'd do anything to see him again.  Talk to him, Have him meet his grand kids.  Having experiencing something such as this, made me realize all the things in life we take for granted.  Life is short.  Shorter then we all perceive.  Don't forget to tell the ones you Love how you truly feel about them.  I wish I could take back all the times I went out and spend all of those times with my dad... but everything happens for a reason.  I wish I could make a pot of coffee and share it with him.  I wish for a lot of things...  Grab the people you care about and tell them today... You never know, tomorrow they might not be there. 

Today I cheers to the Memories...  Reflect and Remember.

I love you Daddy and Miss you more then anything in this world.  

Shelly Things #72

Happy New Year Everybody! Happy 2012, Happy Birthday To ME! 

The holidays mean something much different to me, besides the obvious family times that really make it special.  It truly is the end of the year for me.  Christmas, New Years and poof My Birthday January 2nd.  It's the end of an age and the beginning of the new and it's so close to new years so it's kinda cool.  When I was younger I used to want a different Birthday month.. Only because I was nervous that it was so close to Christmas I'd get jipped from gifts, and then we ALWAYS went back to school the day of my birthday from vacation... it was a bummer then.  I know I don't have a special day to look forward to in the middle of the summer but what the Heck, I'll drink to anything.  Happy "It's Thursday and I was on time to work today" is just fine by me.  My Holidays were great and I hope all of you had a wonderful time as well.  If you have a resolution in mind, take small steps and make it happen! Good Luck!

Shelly Thing #71

Ending this Year with a Bang!  I am thankful that I didn't continue with last years bad habits... ie. Bad People.. you know who you are! Well anyway, on to 2012 and getting stronger every step of the way ;) My Birthday is in 4 days, who is gonna party it  up with me?? It's my last year in my 20's... ugh!

 

So here is to the New Year and the New Opportunities!

Cheers!

Shelly Thing #70

Mood: Bothered

Costume: Got my damn Cape on!

OK so here we go... I welcome you to my damn rant of the day...



Parts of me want to save my fingers and not type this but I am also saving my breath in the same... because it would be pointless, but I need to get it out somewhere.  Regardless if you read this or not.

I didn't realize that I was born yesterday... when were you going to tell me??  Well no, I really wasn't.  It was a cold day in January in 1983, right after we all said Happy New Year, Sheila welcomed me into the world after a long 3 day battle.... nobody said I make things easy either, cause obviously I didn't from the jump.  I was born a female, yes... still doesn't make me an idiot, as some males may argue.  It doesn't make me irrational either, even though I don't claim to never be that way.  My best friends will tell me if I am being just that and I will sit down and listen... I also am not saying that my best friends won't tell me I am being stupid for letting this bother me as well.  We are all human and we all make decisions on our own.  Now down to the nitty gritty.  My FRIENDS... are genuine.  Don't call/text me just when it's a convenience for YOU, yes it's obvious.  Like I said, I was NOT born yesterday.  You took the time out of your busy schedule to address me and then poof, no response... what do I think this means??
 

YOU WASTED MY TIME.  

If you are not going to continue on with the reason you are addressing me in the first place, then why bother?? Why take the time to reach out if you know it's just filling the down time you have.  I work a lot, most of you know... so when I stop what I am doing to respond to you, make it worth it!  I may sound like a bitch, but I already warned you, my cape is on! No I am not unhappy and this is not why I am ranting.  NO I am not a Naggy Bitch, I am just being honest...  I will do anything for my Family and Friends, I will be a true friend till the end.  One hand washes the other, so on and so on... so this is what burns my toast on a daily basis.  I don't reach out because you don't respond (it's not like you care anyway)... again, I don't like to waste my time!  I will stand mighty proud on my soapbox this morning and scream it in your ear... I am not going to beg you to understand the person that I am and the friend I am trying to be... if You don't get it then I guess, It is what it is.  Please don't waste my time anymore.  I am happy and content at living the life that I want.  I love the people that want to be in my life and they love me back.  I guess this all stemmed from a quote I read this morning....  

The only people you need in your life are the ones that need you in theirs." -unknown

I am not an on the fly friend.  My attention and time is worth more then you think. I have goals... I know what I want in life and a friendship like that is not on that list.  After all I am just being honest... 

My Sarcasm is the response to your lack of genuine friendship. 

Shelly Thing #69

OK, so I am going to take a minute to apologize for my absence... I have been one Busy Shelly!  New things have fallen into my lap and I have been so grateful for them.  I started a second job, with some cool nifty photogs at a Portrait Photography Studio and I am having a blast!  It consumes more of my free time but who doesn't love fulfilling their Passion while making some dough in the mix?  If said you didn't Love it... I might ask what was wrong with you lol cause it's pretty cool! I started a personal journey and have been quite successful at it.. I am going to toot my own horn and pat myself on the back because I know that anything that I put my mind to because I want it that bad, I AM going to the Achieve it!! I haven't failed myself yet and I am never going to ;) I am on a roll!  Things are looking up in Shelly's World!  I AM SHELLY, HEAR ME ROAR! LOL continuing on... can you tell I have been in an excellent mood? lol  So for now I will keep you all posted, via Social Network... where ever you can catch me :) Happy Friday, Happy Veterans Day! Thank You to all the vets who have given us Freedom!